Tomorrow, I say goodbye to one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met.  He’s charming, intelligent, funny, beautiful, and just all around wonderful.  I’ve learned more from him in the past six months than I have from almost anyone else in my life; most importantly that being me is enough and always should be.  I was never truly convinced of that before.  Very few have had the impact that he has, and no one as big of one.

John came into my life at a time when I was not looking for anything more than a fun person to hang out with.  I was working a poker game and in walks this guy with a cocky attitude, a Boston accent, and a smile that can light up even the darkest night.  My first thought, ” Oh my god, this man is beautiful!!”.  Throughout the night, I’d glance over at him and was shocked to catch him looking back a few times.  I’ve never really been forward and normally do not make a first move.  Well, I had to get his info for the league I work for and actually had the nerve to text him after the game.  We hung out once or twice after that and didn’t talk much for a month or so.  Then in July, he resurfaced and has been an integral part of my life ever since.  Four months of hanging out, talking, and just being amazed.

I never expected to have this much time with this man nor did I expect to fall in love with him.  That was NOT supposed to happen.  But, it did.  And now I’m faced with telling him farewell.   Not because things did not work out; we have never really fought about anything.  It is just time for him to move on.  All the way across the country.  *sigh*  As of tomorrow night, there will be 2800 miles between me and the man that I love.  That just sucks.  I’m glad that things did not end on a bad note.  However, I do wish they did not have to end.

I think I’ll see him again, as a matter of fact I’m positive I will.  Either way, I will always remember him.  John was the man that changed it all for me.  I can move forward with a new found confidence and self worth.  I am stronger because of him.  I am better for having had him in my life.  I will be forever grateful to him for all that he has done for me.  No matter where he is or what he’s doing, John will always have a piece of my heart with him.  That will never, ever change.

To you… More so today than yesterday, and I’m sure even more tomorrow.  I love you now and always.


2 thoughts on “

  1. And finally you see that one person can make the difference in someones life. One person can show an individual that they have confidence and potential to be and do anything. Its all in mindset we agree with.

    Ps. He’ll be back….

  2. There are no goodbyes. Trust me. I said hello to a man 11 yrs ago.. and now.. he is laying next to me.. in my warm bed.. with his warm arms. Everything happens for a reason. A purpose. Though things seem so far out of the realm of comfort, joy and peace when it comes to him staying, him going will bring you these things in another way. In another time.. another place. Patience will be needed now. Friends. Family. And.. paying your cell phone bill. You do know.. that bill will sky rocket? Love you girl, Hang in there.

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