Through my journey of self discovery and healing, I have learned a lot about myself as a friend and the friends I’ve chosen to have in my life. I have a handful of people I would consider true, genuine friends. People who have stood by me no matter what I’ve done that was stupid or wrong and who have never judged me for the stupid shit that I’ve pulled. They love me no matter what I do, and I feel the same about them.
I’m not stupid. I know I have not always made the best decisions. I know that I’ve done stupid shit and I have done people wrong. Those mistakes, however, do not define who I am now. I’ve admitted my wrongs to those people, with or without forgiveness, and I’ve moved on from the person that I once was. I’m not mad or upset with the ones who have chosen not to forgive me. I chalk it up to experience and carry on with my life.
What does piss me off is that some people have listened to bullshit and gossip and written me off. I did nothing wrong to them, though they choose to believe that I have. I’ve learned these people were not true friends to begin with. I’m more upset with myself for not seeing it than I am with them. I’ve lost two good friends in the past two months over stupid crap and to me that’s just outrageous.
I’ve never claimed to be perfect. I’ve never acted like I’m better than anyone else. I have an opinion and I state it when necessary, and sometimes when not. I have not always said what needed to be said and I’m sorry for that now. At the time, I either did not want to hurt someone’s feelings or felt it was none of my business. Those days are over. No exceptions to the rule.
I do want to say to those who have stood by me no matter what, that I appreciate you more than you will ever know. A very special shout out to a person who in spite of it all, has found it in their heart to trust that I am a better person than I used to be and gave me the chance to be her friend. She knows who she is.
So, I guess the point here is, thank you to the ones who put up with my crap. I love you more than you could ever know and will never forget any of you for it. 🙂