I consider myself to be a good friend.  I feel like I go out of my way to be there when my friends need me to be.  I listen to all of their issues, countless hours spent hearing bitching and moaning and crying about some big stuff, some really stupid stuff.  It has never mattered to me, if they need me, I do my damnedest to be there.  If I go out, provided it’s not a family event and even then sometimes, I invite them to hang out.  I try to censor what I say to them to avoid hurting their feelings.  I sugarcoat things to avoid such issues.  Even when the truth is the one thing they need to hear, I say with finesse and care unless blatancy is what they need.

Here is what disappoints me.  Where are they when I need someone?  There’s almost always some reason they can’t be there for me: I have too much going on, I am going here, we’ll talk later, and the list goes on.  Then on the off chance that they do listen, it is only for a short period of time.  The conversation usually goes back to their issues.  My least favorite of all is this: Me ” so me and Robbie are fighting”, friend “i don’t why you put up with it”, or “he’s so immature, ugh that’s annoying”.  I do not tell any of my friends that they need to leave their man because of a stupid fight.  Nine times out of ten, that’s what they are.

And it is not only about them not listening.  It’s that I’m never asked to hang out or go do anything with any of them.  Granted, I’m always broke, but I can scrounge up ten bucks to do lunch or something.  I love my friends unconditionally and feel as if I do not get that in return.  Sadly, most of them probably won’t even read this.  And I will probably continue to let them get away with it because I’m not ballsy enough to say something and do not want them to get upset with me.  I always tell myself they have enough going on and it is never the right time.

Please spare me the “they are not your real friends” comments.  I just wanted to vent and I did that.  Feel free to comment, I just do not think I can handle anymore negativity right now.  Lol


4 thoughts on “Disappointed

  1. Girl…I totally commiserate w/ you on this one…I get the same thing out of some people and I’ve had to let go of friends that were exceptionally close at one point…but we all grow and change and as that happens we have to decide who we want to be in our lives at that point.

  2. Johanna Wolfgang von Goethe once said “What is uttered from the heart alone, will win the hearts of others to your own.” I could feel you passion and your pain on the subject of friend…. so this is my wish for you:

    Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, and love to complete your life.

    You are stronger and braver than you think..this too shall pass.

    Lots of love,

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